Confidence and Courage: Improve Your Practice (and Change Your Life) in 5 Seconds with Mel Robbins

It doesn’t matter how long you have been wholesaling.

Nor how much money you make.

The fact is every one of us has doubted ourselves.

From time to time we’ve called into question any and all elements of the what we do and/or the how we do it.

What if you could work past that that doubt, that momentary (or longer) crisis of confidence, in just 5 seconds?

Mel Robbins is one of the most sought after motivational speakers trusted by global brands to design and deliver business expanding, life-changing, interactive keynotes that inspire change, challenge thinking and accelerate personal and professional growth. Her TEDx Talk on “How To Stop Screwing Yourself Over” has over 10 million views across 37 countries, and her book on the brain and productivity, “Stop Saying You’re Fine”, is a business bestseller that has been translated into four languages.

She started her career as a criminal defense attorney and went on to launch and sell a retail and internet technology company. Mel has led multi-year coaching programs at: Johnson & Johnson, AG Edwards, Bear Stearns and Partners Healthcare. The media has tapped Mel to host award-winning shows for FOX, A&E, Cox Media Group and now CNN.

Mel is currently one of CNN’s most popular on-air commentators and opinion writers; her articles drive tens of millions of page views for CNN.com. Mel has an extensive television résumé as an expert on human behavior and motivation for Good Morning America, Dr. Phil, Dr. Oz, Oprah, The Today Show and Fox News. She was named America’s Outstanding News Talk Show Host at the 2014 Gracie Awards.

Her new book, The 5 Second Rule: Transform Your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage is now available.

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Confidence and Courage 

Courage is the ability to take action in the face of self-doubt, fear, uncertainty, overthinking, or hesitation.

Courage is what you need the moment you become hijacked by these feelings. It’s how you push past the doubt and the fear and regain control of the moment.

Courage is an act. It is not a state. Courage is an action that changes the mind.

Courage is like that first yoga class. It’s when you look around and say “I’ll never be able to have that flexibility.” Remember: this is your first class. No one came to their first class knowing exactly what to do. Keep practicing and soon you’ll improve. After consistent practice, that Lotus pose is no longer so challenging.

Courage is like meditation. Have you ever tried to meditate and found your brain going off in a million directions? Doing it for a minute feels like forever. Keep going. It gets easier. With practice, you can meditate without as much effort. It becomes habitual. You train your brain.

Courage is also like surgery. Do you know how the best surgeons become so good? They train. No surgeon is expected to be amazing on the first day of medical school. It doesn’t automatically become second nature. They practice surgical methods every single day until they are experts.

Courage is the same. Just like yoga, meditation, and surgery, it’s a skill that only improves through practice. It’s an action that gets easier as you do it. It’s something that becomes second nature as time passes. It’s something that you need to practice everyday.

When you practice everyday courage, you feel proud, powerful, and build real confidence.

Acting with everyday courage comes down to 5 second decisions. In those 5 second windows, you have a choice. You can take courageous action or you can submit to your feelings.

It’s in those 5 second moments, the moments in which you push through hesitation using courageous actions, that you change your life.

When you use the 5 Second Rule and take control of a situation with an act of everyday courage, you are no longer defaulting to fear.

In moments of hesitation, those times when your feelings of doubt and worry and fear creep in, you have a critical opportunity. It’s the opportunity to seize the 5 second window and practice everyday courage.

Practicing everyday courage is how the best you comes to the surface. As you bust through feelings of doubt with the 5 Second Rule, you build authentic pride in yourself and create confidence. 

Yes, you create confidence.

Confidence is the ability to hear your ideas and just trust in them. It’s the skill of believing in and listening to yourself.

Just like courage, confidence is not a state. It’s not a feeling. It’s definitely not a trait.

It’s a skill, one that must be built.

Many people believe that if you are extroverted, you are more confident. That’s not true. You are just more vocal. That has nothing to do with the skill of confidence.

You may talk all the time as an extrovert and be very insecure in yourself. You might speak but not have the confidence to speak the truth or say what you really mean.

As an introvert, you might sit quietly and have confidence in your ideas, but not the courage to speak out loud for fear of judgment because your cheeks turn red.

Your personality is made up of traits. Confidence is not a trait.

Confidence is a skill, one that’s built through repeated acts of everyday courage.

As you build the skill of confidence, it becomes a habit. It becomes an empowering habit that replaces current habits of self-doubt.

It is the habit you build when begin to truly listen to yourself. Confidence doesn’t just occur. It’s a skill that can master as you practice using everyday courage.

Practicing courage is where you start. It’s the secret to building confidence.

When you continue to practice courage, something really amazing happens. As your confidence increases, you will also find yourself no longer defaulting to fear. Where you once needed to courageously push yourself to overcome hesitation, you will find that doing so is now easy.

Over time, you won’t feel the fears you feel right now. You won’t feel the same self-doubt. You will have built up a pattern of confidence.

When faced with doubt or fear, use the 5 Second Rule to push through hesitation with an act of everyday courage. Your courageous actions will increase confidence. As you build up the muscle of courage, you’ll train yourself to be courageous – and find increased confidence as the result.

Written by Mel Robbins