Ants In The Wholesaler’s Pants

A few years back, I picked-up a rental car at the airport in Birmingham, AL.

It was well after dark, so nothing about the car seemed amiss.

The next morning, I was expected to drive across town to present a continuing education session for a group of CPAs who were the guests of a financial advisor I was assisting.

Upon opening the drivers side car door, this time with the benefit of daylight, I quickly noticed a few ants crawling on the dashboard. Then I looked closer at the interior, and I was horrified to see that the entire front seat, center console, steering wheel and dashboard were absolutely covered with thousands of crawling ants!

I was running short on time to travel to my presentation on time, so I tried to order up a taxi from the hotel. Well, we so far out on the edge of town, I was told it would take an hour to get a taxi.

So, I did the only thing any good wholesaler would do; I swept away as many ants as I could using a folder.

I gritted my teeth and climbed into the car for the 20 minute drive to my all important presentation.

As I drove, I constantly brushed away and swatted ants. Upon arrival, I brushed myself off and ran in to the meting to get started.

As I presented over the next three hours, I kept feeling ants crawling on me; some were real, while some were imagined.

I must say, it is hard to talk about retirement planning when you have ants in your pants.

Upon completing the CPE session, I called the car rental company. I let them know of the problem, and I made it clear that if they wanted their car back, they would have to come get it themselves.

There was no way I was going to be ant bait again!

When the rental company person showed up, he told me that a few ants are common, and no big deal.

That was until he opened the front door and looked inside.

I believe his exact words were “Oh hell no”!

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